Wanting to treat your partner to a night on the coast, but they’ll only stay in a town protected by a giant fibreglass prawn?
Have you made a bet with your neighbour that you can travel back in time, and quickly need to find Heritage accommodation with which to stage your ruse?
Want to make an accommodation pun about crustaceans, and need an ‘Inn’ to fit the bill?
Maybe you just need a comfortable sleep in a cosy bed, after eating too much meat at a conveniently located RSL Club.
In this post, we’ll spend some time together (not in a creepy way) at the Ballina Heritage Inn.
We’ll relax in comfort, laugh at the toilet, marvel at the water views within walking distance, eat too much pork belly, point at a seagull, and wish we’d booked another night.
Ballina is a coastal town in the Northern Rivers region of New South Wales, about 2 hours drive from Brisbane, Queensland – or about 4.5 hours if you go the fun way, through Beaudesert, Murwillumbah and Lismore for no reason.
Ballina holds a special place in my heart, and is famous for many things including a big fibreglass prawn that now lives outside Bunnings, and being the place where my Grandpa lived. To be clear, I’m fairly certain my Grandpa didn’t live in the big prawn or Bunnings – just in the town.
According to the internet, the big prawn weighs as much as six adult elephants – so could have conceivably housed my Grandpa and yours as well. Once upon a time, you could walk inside it (prawn, not Grandpa) using a spiral staircase that would lead you up into its enormous head and sightsee out its eyes. The souvenir shop and seafood that used to accompany the prawn are no longer there – but you can still pop into the Bunnings for a sausage sandwich and some garden implements, and then get your photo with Sir Prawnsalot (if that is his real name) – which is kind of the same.
Anyway, we’re not here to talk about prawns or Grandpas all day. Instead, let me show you around the Ballina Heritage Inn.
We’ve had the pleasure of staying at the Ballina Heritage Inn a few times before, and are never disappointed. The staff are always friendly and helpful, and can give you some ideas on what local attractions to see, if you’re new to the area. Don’t worry, I’m not going to start talking about that prawn again.
The Inn is easy to find, located on River Street – a nice nod to the Richmond River that winds its way through the area … or named in honour of River Song from Dr Who. The history on the street signage isn’t clear, and also I didn’t look into it.
There is plenty of secure on-site parking, and you’ll be allocated a special spot when you check in. When booking your room, I’d suggest requesting one of the ground floor rooms if you don’t want to fight with your partner over whose turn it is to drag your suitcase up the stairs – or if you’ve got mobility issues, or if you find looking out over a balcony a bit too ‘Shakespearian’ for your modern tastes.
We stayed in a deluxe king room (Room 1) on the ground floor, and (spoiler alert) were very comfortable.
The Inn has an ‘old school’ feel – you could almost call it ‘Heritage’ style – meaning the rooms are spacious, with sturdy and practical furnishings for all your away-from-home needs. Our room, true to its ‘Deluxe King Room’ title, had a king bed and after a big day of staring at that prawn that I’m apparently not allowed to talk about any more, my husband took an immediate nap upon entry. The bed looked that comfortable. Also, I had made him wait outside the room for quite awhile as I took photos of everything, so he might have just been closing his eyes for a bit of peace and quiet.
While my sleepy partner took a rest, I sat on the little couch provided (it worked well!) and took notes on the room so I could accurately share this review with you later. I can only assume that the clacking of my expert typing helped to lull Mr B into his heritage nap. When he was good and asleep, I had an old fashioned (heritage) game of ‘count the power points – there are 3! You might have to unplug one of the lamps if you want to charge your phone next to you while you sleep though.
Be aware that the bed is on wheels and moves around quite a bit when you’re trying to untuck the display foot-cloth off the end – so you should probably wait until your partner wakes up to do this, as for some reason they get irritated when you keep wheeling them around the room yelling at the foot-cloth.
The little table in the corner had a cute fake plant on it and a placemat to make you feel fancy and at home. This is also a great spot to make art, dinner, write your best-seller, or just sit and stare into the vortex.
There’s a big Narninian (real word) wardrobe near the bed with a microwave in it, just in case you want to warm something up before heading off to see Aslan. The ironing board is in there too, I guess so you can use it as a sled to avoid the Snow Witch or Mr Tumnus.
One of the bed-side tables has an old-fashioned (heritage) radio built into it, so you might have to fight over who gets to sleep on that side. I won the battle on our stay this time, mostly though because I always choose the side of the bed that is furthest from the toilet. We might unpack that in a later post. I didn’t try the radio on this visit, as I wasn’t sure if there were heritage ghosts in it and I was after more of ‘relaxing’ holiday, than a ‘ghost busting’ one.
There’s another little table under a large hanging mirror, at which you could sit and do your work while staring into your own eyes. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, so depending on your character, you might want to shut the curtains.
There is a bag area to store your bags out of the way, and next to it is a small fridge housing a complimentary milk. There are also a few water and wine glasses chilling in the fridge, in case you bought some wine with you that you now want to change into water, or vice versa.
The complimentary tea and coffee fixings are located in the bathroom cupboard – which the lovely people at reception will make a point of telling you in case you’re hangry for a biscuit.
The bathroom is big, clean and tidy. There is a waterfall shower-head that I won’t hold against it, as people seem to like that sort of thing. Water pressure is great and the temp nice and hot.
The toilet had won some kind of a talent show, and had its ‘we’ve been sanitised for your protection’ sash on. Well done. I’m always (always??) in two minds about those sashes. I’m happy that the toilet has been cleaned and decorated – not so happy that I have to then touch the toilet to remove the banner (Eric).
Complimentary shampoo and conditioner nestle atop a towel tower for your enjoyment. The ground floor rooms do have a long window in the bathroom that I wondered about. Can people in the upper floors see you reflected in the mirror, sitting on Fowler (that’s the toilets name by the way, there’s even a dolphin on it!)? I don’t imagine most people would want to look at you in this regard, when there is an ocean to stare at mere metres away – but each to their own.
We love staying at the Ballina Heritage Inn, and know that you will too.
It’s a great spot for families, couples, celebrity couples, celebrity families, or people who want to live off grid but still be right across the road from an RSL Club so they can get pork belly for dinner at a reasonable price.
Walk along the nearby water-front boardwalk and laugh knowingly at a seagull or two, then retire back to your room for a comfortable sleep in the heritage arms of an Inn that only wants the best for you.
Between you, me and a giant prawn – Ballina is the perfect place for a coastal retreat. Next time you’re in the area, tell Sir Prawnsalot we say “Hi!”.
